RESTARTS AT 55

Ramblings From A Sad Day

Feb 13, 2021 | 0 comments

What can one say?

Here today, gone tomorrow..or the next day…who really knows?

Looking for inspiration from things that don’t make sense seems fruitless. Sure, everyone will have great advice, but whose will you take?

And will it be right? wrong? does it matter?

How many times will you hit the backspace key before what you think you want to say starts to make a some sense? It is not about other people, it is about how you are feeling…or is it? Are you trying to make yourself feel the way that you think other people want you to feel? Do you realize how difficult that really is?

I had a counseler once that told me that “Feelings aren’t right, feelings aren’t wrong…they just are”. You be you. Feel what you need to feel to get through. If someone tells you that you are wrong for feeling a certain way, just know in your heart that they wouldn’t know, because they are not you.

Be sad if you have to. Be happy if that helps. Be grateful always. Cry, laugh….Love.

Sometimes we just get numb to it all. To all the anger, the name calling, the judgements. Just numb. Joining in it doesn’t make me feel better, inevitably it makes things worse. To me, it seems like we all want the same thing in the end, we just can’t see it. Or don’t want to see it. Different paths are taken, but all have same destination in mind.

For years reading the Bible was next to impossible for me. I had no clue what people were saying it was about. I never could keep going all the way through. So I bought one of those read the bible in a year books, and read through it once….then again…then a third time. Now I look forward to coming home after work and reading it. And at some point it started to make sense to me. That huge, long, drawn out book suddenly shrunk down to something that I could understand, once I understood that it all points to one person in the end.

So why can’t I do that with everything? Take it in bite-size chunks and stick with it? I can…I just don’t…but I can!

Life is too complicated and scary to try to take it all in at one time. We can get overwhelmed. We do get overwhelmed. Ever try to stop an avalanche with a snow shovel?

I haven’t had a drink of alcohol in almost 7 years. A wise friend, who hasn’t had a drink in 46 years gave me the best advice on how to do it. He says to do whatever it takes to not take a drink today. That’s it, just don’t drink today. Tomorrow we might get drunk, but today we never will. Too simple? EXACTLY!

So why not do that in all facets of my life. No reason not to, right? I can’t think of any reasons, but I will come up with plenty of reasons if I think, or overthink about it.

I’m just rambling today. It’s been a rough day. It’s been a sad day. We lost a four-legged member of our family today and we are sad, and we should be sad. It’s OK to be sad because we are really going to miss him.

I’m sitting right now looking up at the upper shelf over my desk

  • I see a Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup Champion hat
  • I see a picture of my kids when they were younger hanging out with Pluto (my favorite Disney character) at Disney World
  • I see a stuffed animal of Opus the Penguin (Bloom County) wearing a Goofy hat. It’s a baseball hat with pictures of Goofy on it. Opus is a story in itself that I’m sure I will write about one day
  • I see a hockey puck with tape around it and writing on the tape. It says “2/18 vs Fayetteville. First Pro Game”. That is the game puck from my son’s first game as a professional hockey equipment manager.
  • And I see a framed picture of my idol, Mr Cub, Ernie Banks. Ernie is always smilin’ down at me just to remind me that life is good

Good night Ernie. Thanks for the reminder!